If the World Ends...

People have been saying the world is going to end for years. In fact, if you look around you, it probably is ending, slowly, and dully. The value of life has depleted into almost an ignorance that cannot be ignored. I mean really, have you seen kids now-a-days walking home after school?

Every day I look at the life that surrounds me and I wonder... how the hell did I get here, of all places? What happened to my goals and my dreams, and worst of all, my pride? What happened to the value of promises and keeping your word? And why is "all or nothing" such a bad thing now? I want what I want out of life, and if it bothers you in any way, well I'm sorry. But that is just the way I am, and if the world is going to end, why spend the rest of my days worrying about other people? They don't seem to be worrying about me much. I'm not the one who people walk on egg shells around. So why do I feel like I am stepping on glass every single time I ask for something?

I have always wondered if I am better off on my own. I have always seen things differently from others and have been able to look deeper at the reasoning for things that others would see as "life's little happenings." Seriously, what is a "happening" other than your pure laziness in trying to figure it out? People like me are looked at as "control freaks" but in all reality, we just know that we want things done, done right, done our way, and done on time. I wonder what happened to the days when men knew they were responsible for holding things down, and consideration wasn't a rare value. I want a warm home cooked dinner every night, and a front lawn that is 4 car-lengths long! Maybe even a little white picket fence. Maybe.

But, none of that exists anymore, except for in story books. Cinderella will never find her slipper now, and the pumpkin has swallowed all of her dreams whole. All that's left is a rot and peel of all things we see as dreams. Dirt has taken over and it's building up with enough mold and anger to decay us all. Disappointment sinks it's teeth into you like a starved lion.

There's all these reasons that turn me sour on certain days. And when the little bit of pride I do have left takes over and covers me in a shell of "pissed off" and "fuck you," my mind doesn't control what my mouths says and what my body does.